Say It LOUDER!….an awareness blog for PMDD

I;m writing this during my hardest days.

If you’ve ever experienced Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), you know it’s not just a “bad period” … it’s a serious, often debilitating condition that can affect your emotional, physical, and mental well-being. For some, like me, it’s a silent struggle that happens each month, often without anyone around us truly understanding the depth of what we’re going through. Living with PMDD while feeling unsupported can make an already difficult experience feel even more isolating.

I’ve often felt like I was carrying a burden that no one could see and that I was a burden.. PMDD can cause intense mood swings, depression, irritability, fatigue, anxiety, and sometimes even suicidal thoughts. These aren’t just fleeting emotions … they are overwhelming, real, and exhausting. But when the people around you don’t fully understand or dismiss it as “just mood swings” or “hormonal,” it adds another layer of pain to an already challenging experience.

I remember countless times when I tried to explain to the people in my life what I was going through. I would tell them that I felt out of control, that I was overwhelmed by the emotions that seemed to hit like a tidal wave. But more often than not, I was met with indifference or even frustration. I couldn’t make them see what was happening to me. I couldn’t make them feel the intensity of it all. And it left me feeling so alone, like I was fighting this battle by myself. “get over it” what what I hear a lot.

It’s a strange feeling …trying to be strong while silently breaking inside. With PMDD, you know what’s coming. You can anticipate the symptoms, but that doesn’t make them any easier to bear. Without a support system, it’s easy to fall into self-doubt, thinking that you must be overreacting, that maybe it’s all in your head, and that you should just push through it. But pushing through only makes things worse. I’ve learned the hard way that ignoring the pain, the sadness, and the anger doesn’t make it go away — it only intensifies the feelings when they finally break through.

The isolation of having PMDD without support can also make the good days feel even more precious, and the bad days feel even darker. There’s this constant juggling act, trying to stay positive, trying to appear “normal” for the people around you while battling the worst of your emotions behind closed doors. It’s exhausting. Sometimes, it feels like I’m putting on a mask just to make it through each day, pretending I’m okay when I’m not.

But through all the hardship, I’ve learned a few important things about myself. First, I’ve realized how resilient I am. Even without the support I wish I had, I’ve found ways to cope with PMDD on my own. I’ve learned what triggers my symptoms, what comforts me, and how to take care of myself during the roughest days. I’ve learned the importance of self-compassion …giving myself the grace to rest when I need to, and not pushing myself to perform when I don’t have the energy.

Second, I’ve started building my own support system, even if it’s not in the traditional sense. While it would be ideal to have a partner, friend, or family member who understands and supports me, I’ve found strength in other places. Online communities, where people understand exactly what I’m going through, have become an invaluable source of comfort. I’ve found therapists who specialize in PMDD, and I’ve begun to seek help when I need it, even if it’s in small doses.

It’s not the ideal situation …but sometimes, you have to learn to be your own advocate. When no one else around you seems to understand, you have to be the one to fight for your own well-being.

Living with PMDD without support can feel like a never-ending battle, but I’ve come to realize that even in the absence of others, I am enough. I am strong enough to face each cycle, each challenge, and each emotional hurdle. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s lonely at times. But I am not defined by my condition. I am more than the struggles I face, and I will continue to find ways to thrive …even without the support I wish I had.To anyone else who feels alone in this struggle, I want you to know that you’re not invisible. Your pain is valid, and you deserve to be heard and understood. Even when others fail to see you, please remember that you are worthy of compassion, and you don’t have to navigate this alone. You are stronger than you know, and your journey is uniquely yours … and that in itself is something to be proud of.

with love

Caitlin