Say It LOUDER!….an awareness blog for PMDD

There’s a weird kind of mind game that PMDD plays with you…one that doesn’t get talked about nearly enough. Sure, people mention the rage, the tears, the hopeless spirals but what about the other side? The day…maybe two…when you suddenly feel fine. Like, suspiciously fine.

You wake up and feel light again. You smile at the dog, answer texts you’ve been ignoring for a week, maybe even eat a vegetable. You feel… normal. And then it hits you:

Was I actually just being dramatic?

Because from this suddenly rational and emotionally steady place, the version of you who was sobbing on the bathroom floor two days ago feels like a total stranger. A liar, even. You start to gaslight yourself.
“Maybe I was overreacting.”
“Maybe it’s not PMDD. Maybe I’m just unstable.”
“Maybe I’m making all of this up.”

This is one of the cruelest tricks PMDD plays. Not just the mood swings, but the emotional whiplash that makes you distrust your own experience. It’s like having a courtroom in your brain…past you is on trial and present you is the smug prosecutor with a clear head and selective memory.

But here’s the thing:
Just because you’re okay right now doesn’t mean you weren’t hurting then. Both versions of you are real. Both deserve care. The part of you that spiraled deserves compassion, not interrogation. And the version that feels clear-headed today? She’s not proof that you were “making it all up.” She’s just proof that hormones are powerful and PMDD is a real, relentless cycle.

So if you’re reading this on a good day and wondering if you imagined all the bad ones…please don’t gaslight yourself. You weren’t crazy. You were in pain. And you survived another round. That’s something to be proud of, not ashamed.

Sending love to every version of you. Even the ones you don’t always recognize.