No wonder PMDD brings so many women to their breaking point. I used to think knowledge was power…that understanding what was happening to me would somehow make it easier to handle. But now I’m not so sure.
Knowing hasn’t made it easier. If anything, it’s made me hyperaware…constantly symptom spotting, always waiting for the shift.
It consumes my thoughts in ways that are hard to explain. There’s no real break from it…not mentally and not emotionally. There are just stretches of time where it’s a little easier to carry.
That’s the reality that doesn’t get talked about enough. The in-between isn’t freedom…it’s a pause before the next wave hits.
It’s a strange kind of existence…living only a few weeks at a time. Measuring your life in cycles instead of seasons. It wears you down. It chips away at your sense of normalcy, your hope and even your identity. Because how do you plan a future when so much of your present is spent surviving yourself?
And the hardest part? Knowing this is your life…month after month, a pattern that loops endlessly and trying to make peace with it.
Some days I feel strong enough to fight back. Other days I just feel tired. But even in that exhaustion, there’s a quiet kind of resilience.
Because we still show up.
We still try.
It’s not fair!…and that’s okay to say out loud. Sometimes, acknowledging the unfairness is the most honest kind of strength there is.
With love,
Caitlin
Say It LOUDER!….an awareness blog for PMDD 
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